The Day Before:

1. Pick up all the groceries except for the bagels.
2. Hard-boil the eggs, peel and refrigerate.
3. Trim and blanch the asparagus, then refrigerate.

The Morning of

1. Pick up the bagels.
2. Set out plates, utensils, and napkins.
3. Slice the onion, avocado, Meyer lemon, and hard-boiled eggs and arrange on a large platter, board, or tray along with the blanched asparagus and serving utensils.
4. Add small bowls of salts to the platter.
5. Get some drinks ready: Brew some coffee and set out in a carafe with coffee cups, cream, a non-dairy milk, sugar, and spoons or stirrers. Make a pitcher or two of Bloody Mary’s, or carafes of juice and bubbly on ice for Mimosas or Bellinis. Set out some glasses and extra ice.
6. Just before your guests are scheduled to arrive, add the cream cheeses, hummus, and caviar to the platter. Slice the bagels and set out on an additional platter.
7. Fry the capers, transfer to a small bowl, and add to the platter.
8. Pour yourself a drink and wait for your first guest to arrive.